I Ask The Impossible.

I stumbled across this poem by accident and fell in love with it instantly. I thought it was, without a doubt, worth sharing.
I ask the impossible: love me forever.Love me when all desire is gone.Love with the single mindedness of a monk.When the world in its entirety,and all that you hold sacred advise youagainst it: love me still more.When rage fills you and has no name: love me.When each step from your door to our job tires you --love me; and from job to home again, love me, love me.Love me when you're bored --when every woman you see is more beautiful than the last, or more pathetic, love me as you always have:not as admirer or judge, but withthe compassion you save for yourselfin your solitude.Love me as you relish your loneliness,the anticipation of death,mysteries of the flesh, as it tears and mends.Love me as your most treasured childhood memory --and if there is none to recall --imagine one, place me there with you.Love me withered as you loved me new.Love me as if I were forever -- and I, will make the impossiblea simple act,by loving you, loving you as I do."
- Ana Castillo, 'I Ask The Impossible: Poems'.

Hello World.

I acknowledged a long time ago that one of my biggest flaws is that I overanalyse everything. I like to have a plan, sometimes drawn out years in advance to when anything can take place, and when things don't fall into place, I panic. I love university, and with only a year left I realise that it truly has been the time of my life and that I wish it could go on forever. Alongside these thoughts come panic, the 'what-ifs' of what is to come next, the job I want and everything else for the rest of my life. I know nothing falls into place and that you have to work for everything you want. I am believe with my entire being that we all have a place and a purpose, and we just have to wait for that to be realised. I am still waiting to figure out what exactly that purpose is for me, where I belong and what I am meant to do, as I currently feel like I am going round in circles, but until then, this song is making unbelievably happy and optimistic.

♥

A Little Less?

"That my Sister in Law at Colchester had said, Beauty, Wit, Manners, Sence, good Humour, good Behaviour, Education, Virtue, Piety, or any other qualification, whether of Body or Mind, had no power to recommend: That money only made a woman agreeable; That Men chose Mistresses indeed by the gust of their Affection, and it was requisite to a Whore to be Handsome; but that for a Wife, no Deformity would shock the Fancy, no ill Qualities, the Judgement; the Money was the thing; the Portion was neither crooked nor Monstrous, but the money was always agreeable, whatever the Wife was."

-Daniel Defoe, Moll Flanders.

This quote is from one of the books I am reading for next semester, and though it is taking me a while to get my head around everything that is going on and make sense of the language, I am more than a little bit intrigued by the depiction of women in this book, first published in 1722. The speech from her sister-in-law that Moll repeats claims money is how women are judged and that a wife does not need to have any saving graces. Only the whores and prostitutes are taken for their beauty or personality. And though it may not be the case these days, it made me think about marriage, men and the way women are these days, and I can't decide if I think the world is better or worse, 289 years later.

We live in a world obsessed with sex. And I am not talking about discussions over cocktails with the girls, a la Sex and the City, but in the sense that it is everywhere you look. It is effecting people younger and younger, and it is sad to say. Whilst walking through town the other day, a friend and I saw a group of girls, no more than 14, clearly drunk and shouting out things they were too young to be shouting at a group of men crossing a road. I am not a prude, by any means, and I am not particularly conservative, but I do think that children should be children, that there is plenty of time 'for all of that when you're older' and that things are getting a bit out of hand. It saddens me that this will result in girls getting a reputation, as well as attracting the wrong kind of people, especially when in most cases they don't deserve it - they just don't know any better.

So I thought about choosing the person you want to spend your life with, and how your past can affect that. Moll manages to marry over and over again, even while still married, and is able to entice new husbands without revealing anything about herself. I have no respect for these male characters, so greedy for a wife with money (that she does not really have) who also happens to have a 'handsome' face. The truth is, she was a prostitute, she comes from nothing and lies her way to where she needs to be. I don't know how far we have progressed but I find myself wanting to make sure that these stumbling girls don't have to lie when it comes to finding their man, because they are ashamed of their past. It isn't fair.

I do believe there is someone out there for everyone (I know, but I am a romantic at heart) and I hope that when the time comes, there is no need for lies and everything will just fall in place. I'm not at the end of the book yet, but I hope Moll finds happiness. And I hope the same for the girls I saw in town the other day. Everything is good in moderation, but we need to know the limits. Less sex, or at least a little less exposure to those whom it can damage.

Happy Smiley Things.

The smallest things make me happy. My family, in particular, have always repeated that age-old phrase of "simple minds, simple pleasures." Not all of my favourite things are simple; however, I can't help but think that it helps to find some pleasure in the little things, unless you have constant access to the complex. These things have been making me smile recently:

[American candy treats from a friend who just returned from California.]

[Berry and yoghurt smoothies = yummy. And stacks of books begging to be read.]

[Redbush tea. Absolutely scrummy!]

[A constant supply of flavoured hot chocolate. Always best topped off with whipped cream, drank at night, when curled up in bed with a book.]

Summer Escape.

Sometimes, when the weather is nice, I wish that I lived somewhere near the countryside. I don't think I'd like to live in the country, but there is something so appealing about a field, freshly cut grass and curling up under the sun with a good book. In my imaginary future, where I have endless amounts of money and no real concerns, I would get myself a little country retreat for the summer, full of cakes, tea and an entire room full of books.

"I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says "Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again." - Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through The Looking-Glass.

"He spoke of human solitude, about the intrinsic loneliness of a sophisticated mind, one that is capable of reason and poetry but which grasps at straws when it comes to understanding another, a mind aware of the impossibility of absolute understanding. The difficulty of having a mind that understands that it will always be misunderstood." - Nicole Krauss, Man Walks Into A Room.

"Do you think I'm wonderful? she asked him one day as they leaned against the trunk of a petrified maple. No, he said. Why? Because so many girls are wonderful. I imagine hundreds of men have called their loves wonderful today, and it's only noon. You couldn't be something that hundreds of others are." - Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated.


"I'm wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there; not seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of an aching heart; but really with it, and in it." -Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights.

All images from weheartit.

Northern Adventure.

Last week I again made my way up North to visit one of my housemates who was home for the summer. Two of the other girls arrived at the weekend and, along with her friends from home, we went out to celebrate her turning twenty. Though the night didn't stick to the original plan, we still had a great time: an amazing dinner, even more amazing cocktails, good wine, tottering around the city in new shoes that hadn't quite been broken in yet (that was just me in all honesty) and tequila shots in the kitchen. Definitely worth the trip!

Burrito! This dinner was delicious...
This cocktail was absolutely incredible! Tequila based, with raspberry and apple (I believe), it was called a Ruby Rod and went down an absolute treat. It was closely followed by the best Pina Colada I have ever had.

Also, while visiting my friend, her and her mum introduced me to the most beautiful nail polish that I have ever used. Already obsessed by reds, this is now the top of my wish list:

OPI's "I'm Not Really A Waitress."

Dark Times.

"These are dark times, there is no denying." - Rufus Scrimgoer, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part 1. (2010)

Image from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-14450248


Over the past few days, the country has gone into meltdown and riots have broken out in cities across England. The images are horrible; as the news keeps coming it gets more and more shocking and my heart is breaking for the people have lost their homes and everything they own due to the lack of concern by those causing the problems. Hopefully the violence is going to die down, rather than get worse, and the good people who are working to clean up the streets and show that the affected areas are not just full of criminals will get the recognition they deserve.


"War is what happens when language fails."
- Margaret Atwood.

"The pursuit of truth does not permit violence against one's opponent."- Gandhi.

"The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it." - Bill Cosby.

"Violence isn't always evil. What's evil is the infatuation with violence."- Jim Morrison.

And to remember, until things get better:"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean is not dirty."- Gandhi.