"Another Fabricated Self Portrait"

I enjoy reading the things that other people write about themselves, about the things that they consider important, about the qualities that they believe define themselves. It amuses me when people see themselves as the polar opposites to who they really are. People who claim to be loyal when deceiving those closest to them, those who say that they love someone and then don't show it; just in general, people who believe that they are something they are not. As people, I don't believe that we are equipped to come up with a definite and accurate perceptions of ourselves. I think we are made by the people around us, and it is only them who can see us as they truly are.

I take the things I know about myself from the things that people tell me. I believe that I'm a good listener because my friends tell me so, they call me up and say they need to talk to me because they don't have anyone else. I believe that I'm good at the subject I do and that I made the right choice with my degree because of the feedback and marks that I get. It's not hard to figure out. And who I am is made by the people who tell me these things. The friends who come to me with their problems, who trust me and seek me out, or the English teachers from my school career who have taught me, praised me and encouraged me to be the best that I can be. I'm not all good though, I know this. And I know this because people tell me so. I know that I can petty, jealous and bitchy. But I don't deny it. I am who I am, I'm proud of it, and I'm not about to change because some of my personailty traits don't live to up the expectations of, essentially, someone who doesn't matter. And this is the difference between me and one of the many people I have just been reading about: I accept who I am, I take responsibility for my actions and I don't pretend to be someone that I'm not.

The song I posted above is one of my favourite songs and when I sat down to write this post, the lyrics came to mind rather quickly:

"Look at what we've all tried not to become,

Another fabricated self portrait.

Oh, oh, no, take another glance and remember

We're the ones setting you up to take your fall."

Because not matter how much you try and fool yourself, and those around you, people aren't stupid. They see through you and all of the things you say. You could put yourself down on paper and make yourself sound like the most amazing person in the world. But actions speak louder than words. You can't show loyalty, love, commitment, honesty or any of these things by betraying someone. Your words can only hide so much. Your actions will always show your true colours.