A Little Less?

"That my Sister in Law at Colchester had said, Beauty, Wit, Manners, Sence, good Humour, good Behaviour, Education, Virtue, Piety, or any other qualification, whether of Body or Mind, had no power to recommend: That money only made a woman agreeable; That Men chose Mistresses indeed by the gust of their Affection, and it was requisite to a Whore to be Handsome; but that for a Wife, no Deformity would shock the Fancy, no ill Qualities, the Judgement; the Money was the thing; the Portion was neither crooked nor Monstrous, but the money was always agreeable, whatever the Wife was."

-Daniel Defoe, Moll Flanders.

This quote is from one of the books I am reading for next semester, and though it is taking me a while to get my head around everything that is going on and make sense of the language, I am more than a little bit intrigued by the depiction of women in this book, first published in 1722. The speech from her sister-in-law that Moll repeats claims money is how women are judged and that a wife does not need to have any saving graces. Only the whores and prostitutes are taken for their beauty or personality. And though it may not be the case these days, it made me think about marriage, men and the way women are these days, and I can't decide if I think the world is better or worse, 289 years later.

We live in a world obsessed with sex. And I am not talking about discussions over cocktails with the girls, a la Sex and the City, but in the sense that it is everywhere you look. It is effecting people younger and younger, and it is sad to say. Whilst walking through town the other day, a friend and I saw a group of girls, no more than 14, clearly drunk and shouting out things they were too young to be shouting at a group of men crossing a road. I am not a prude, by any means, and I am not particularly conservative, but I do think that children should be children, that there is plenty of time 'for all of that when you're older' and that things are getting a bit out of hand. It saddens me that this will result in girls getting a reputation, as well as attracting the wrong kind of people, especially when in most cases they don't deserve it - they just don't know any better.

So I thought about choosing the person you want to spend your life with, and how your past can affect that. Moll manages to marry over and over again, even while still married, and is able to entice new husbands without revealing anything about herself. I have no respect for these male characters, so greedy for a wife with money (that she does not really have) who also happens to have a 'handsome' face. The truth is, she was a prostitute, she comes from nothing and lies her way to where she needs to be. I don't know how far we have progressed but I find myself wanting to make sure that these stumbling girls don't have to lie when it comes to finding their man, because they are ashamed of their past. It isn't fair.

I do believe there is someone out there for everyone (I know, but I am a romantic at heart) and I hope that when the time comes, there is no need for lies and everything will just fall in place. I'm not at the end of the book yet, but I hope Moll finds happiness. And I hope the same for the girls I saw in town the other day. Everything is good in moderation, but we need to know the limits. Less sex, or at least a little less exposure to those whom it can damage.